I probably frustrate family and friends who try to call me. I know I do! I hate telephones, got rid of my landline phone years ago, barely tolerate having a cell phone, and rarely answer the phone except under duress!

I HATE PHONES!

Part of my dislike of phones comes from the such things as endless solicitations to get me to “upgrade” my credit card to get a more favorable APR. I PAY UP BEFORE CHARGES KICK IN! Yes, I am one of those people who pays off his credit cards at the earliest opportunity, so the credit card company can charge 5000% interest and I wouldn’t know. Or care. Seriously. I wouldn’t be affected!

Part of my dislike of phones comes from the fact that I can’t get to the phone till after it goes to voice mail. No, I do not have my phone surgically attached to me. I try to leave it one place because if I don’t, I may hear it “ring” but fail to find it.

I rarely carry it, I often don’t know exactly where it is when it “rings”, and many times, it totally discharges and goes days collecting messages remotely till someone sends me an e-mail or letter (!) asking why I don’t answer my phone! Don’t miss it, charge it when I (rarely) need it and can’t call till I get a small charge on it.

If I don’t recognize a number, I won’t return the call most times. If it’s the same area code as mine, same prefixes, I might recall. Might.

Part of my dislike of phones comes from the way calls come in randomly and (usually) just as I sit down to eat, take a shower, or have a bowel movement and am cleaning myself off…. (Sorry, but it happens!) Sometimes it comes while I’m in the middle of preparing a meal.

Ice cream for breakfast might help!

I eat at odd times because I can, so I don’t fault people for calling me during my meal times. I don’t like it, though, because there is no nice way to tell people you’d rather not eat while holding a phone.

I have caller ID on my phone. If I have a number that pops up with a name, I will answer that every time. No name, I rarely call back because most times the number is a telemarketeer (sic). I’ve no patience with them!

If I could get away without having a phone, I would. I might make two or three calls a whole month, and pay a little over $50 to Viaero for the service.

When I travel, it is nice to have a cell phone, and having a cell phone has been helpful several times since 2008 when I changed to cell phone over landline. But I still hate it.

For those who live with their phones and try to call me, don’t count on getting me the first time. People who know me best leave messages on facebook or by e-mail telling me they tried to call me. They are the people who get the return calls!