12Oct20: After Dougy died…

…I’d look at Andy while he slept, and sometimes have to strain to see any movement. Was he breathing or not? So…

…I’d say his name to wake him up, then reach over, ruffle his head feathers, happy to reassure myself he was still alive. I know it’s silly, but…!

55 thoughts on “12Oct20: After Dougy died…

  1. Mom used to do that with her old kitty, Maximilian (that was long before I came into her life). He slept in her lap each night. She’d wake up sometime in the middle of the night to touch him to check. He’d respond with a chirp that told her he was OK.

    • Me, too. I go back and forth on the idea of a second cat, one from the shelter, as a companion, then I take a look at my personal situation. I have medical issues that make taking care of Andy harder these days, and I’ve even had to give thought to “what if” situations – my death or having to go into
      a care center. (I’ve arranged with Tara, the person who gave me Andy and Dougy in 2011, for Andy to be rehomed with her in either of those “what if” situations.)

    • I agree Dougy’s death was odd. He had a tiny drop of blood on the tip of his nose. I suspect he had one of those cat moments where he ran at high speed and crashed into something. Part of why I wanted that post mortem was to evaluate that suspicion. The groomer had nothing to do with his death, which occurred almost a week afterward their grooming session.

      • I’m glad you told me. I never saw the post mortem results, and I thought he died the next day after his groom. I’ll stop blaming the poor groomer. Whatever the reason doesn’t make the loss any easier. I’m glad Andy’s ok and seems to be settling into the “only cat” mode. Hope you are doing better as well. Amy

        • Thank you, Amy. I have my moments where I remember something funny Dougy did – he was a kitty comedian – and choke back a tear, then laugh. I sometimes catch Andy looking where Dougy used to appear to have a chase game with him. He looks like he’s remembering those good moments, too.

  2. It’s not unusual at all. In fact, I have woken up a cat who was (as it turned out) just sleeping very soundly. A couple of the current ones snore, so if they change position and fall silent it wakes me up….

  3. Doug, you are as normal as the rest of us. Throughout the years I’ve done this after losing a best furry friend. Heck, I wake Shoko sometimes at night cause she hasn’t moved for hours. This is not appreciated but sometimes they don’t breathe hard enough.


    • Exactly! Andy goes into really deep sleep, and his breathing becomes shallow. Sometimes he snores or purrs in his sleep, which I appreciate!

  4. After what you went through with the shock of losing Dougy so unexpectedly, I can understand why you would be afraid of something happening to Andy.

    • They are genetic twins, having been born of the same parents from a mother who was used once to breed with the same mate. I have the sense that what happened to Dougy could happen to Andy for the same reason. Since I didn’t get an answer to why Dougy died, I probably have more anxiety about Andy than I would have if they hadn’t been brothers.

    • Yes, when my parents were elderly, in poor health, I confess I did the same thing. My father snored a lot, which helped, but my mother was a quiet sleeper. That Dougy was in his prime and had recently been cleared through an extensive evaluation (four pages long report!) of his health to be a healthy cat made his death even more alarming.

    • I definitely know that now! I guess most times we have those feeling but just don’t express them. I needed to share it with all of you who follow my blog because Dougy was a favorite and Andy and I kind of liked him too! We miss him in our own ways.

    • Our fur buddies become such a part of our lives, it always hurts that they come with that one flaw: they don’t live as long as we do. I appreciate your comments always and would feel very honored to share a pot of that famous John of Las Vegas chili if we lived closer together! Anyway, thanks, John. You comment helps!

  5. I’ve done this with my cats and with my husband after he had a health scare. It’s natural especially when you don’t know the “why.” It lessens over time but I’m not sure it ever goes away.

    • Kate, Dougy’s veterinarian, for not doing the post mortem I requested on a form, assured that I will have those nagging questions and this anxiety about Andy for much longer than I would have had I learned a cause of sweet, wee Dougy’s death.

    • Since they were brothers, I am concerned there might be some genetic cause for Dougy’s death that could apply to Andy. I didn’t get an evaluation of Dougy’s cause for death, though I requested one because of his relationship to Andy. Initially, my concern was Dougy had some unknown pathogen that caused his death, but at only days older than nine years old, any cause is a concern that there is reason to worry about Andy.

    • Thanks. While I think it is to be expected of me when I’ve had the recent death of Dougy still on my mind, it seemed a bit excessive. I’m happy to know I am not alone.

    • Thanks, Peggy. I didn’t think I was asking for reassurance when I created this post, but it is clear now I did need – and do appreciate! – knowing others would do the same or understand how losing one brother kitty boy so recently, I am a bit jumpy about the health and safety of the other.

    • I appreciate having your reassurance! Dougy was well under the average age of Persian kitties at death. He had regular veteriarian appointments for routine evaluation of his health, including a full blood workup a few months before his death. I got a four page report (!!!) on every conceivable concern I might have about his apparent slow weight loss over the past six years, and he was within normal levels for all measures.

  6. I know this feeling. It’s hard not to feel anxious about your surviving loved ones after one has died suddenly and unexpectedly. But! It looks like Andy is relaxed and happy! Hope you can enjoy the same, Doug.

    • Andy does seem to be doing well. He has always had more frequent visits to the veterinarian’s because of blood pressure and heart murmur concerns. While I think his blood pressure issue is more related to the kitty boy equivalent of what happens to many humans when they have trips to the doctor’s, the murmur is real. On the other hand, my mother was born with a heart murmur and she only lived a very active life, teaching swimming for sixty of them, and dying days short of age 99.

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