Andy senses it is time for a French film on the television. “Must block the subtitles!” That’s an Andy specialty.
“Hmmm! Maybe I’m early. This sounds like announcements.”
“No. He’s an American actor. Maybe I’m wrong about the foreign film…”
Dougy stops by. Andy’s about given up on blocking the subtitles. When’s that film gonna start?!
Andy knows French when he hears it. This isn’t French!
Dougy confirtms it: “You forgot they show the start times in Eastern Daylight Time. You missed it!” Rats!
Andy, a specialist on foreign films! And he knows French too – hilarious! Looking great, Andy, with TV screen on the background, no matter what’s on it. Dougy, sweetheart, you are looking terrific as well!
Yes, Andy assures me the finest films to caption-block are French films. So often they are endless and make a perfect background for a snooze or just to rest. You know, if he were huiman, I fear Andy would be one of those rude, nasty Gauloise smokers sipping the same demitasse of soul-propping, strong Turkish coffee for hours at the corner bistro. He’d talk of Proust, Camus, Renoir (artist and film-maker, both), and his retinue would nod their heads knowingly (or out of total exhaustion). Yes, Andy would hold court! And no one would ever discover where he lived, if he ever stopped talking long enough to eat, let alone took a nap. Most would assume he was either an alien or absorbed nutients through his skin from the air. (Secret revealed: his richish “uncle” in Nebraska sends him a few dollars each month so he doesn’t starve or have to live the life of an alley cat!)
This is the most delightful cat-essay I’ve ever seen! As visual as I am, I immediately pictured Andy on Montparnasse, surrounded by fawning sycophants. Although I would imagine him more of a Claude Monet character, than Renoir, but of course, you are his human, you know him better than anyone else. Lovely!
No, Claude Monet might be a better one for Andy! I suspect he would spend his days in the garden painting koi spotted in those lily ponds, don’t you? Well, spotting koi at least, and working upo a strategy to catch them without touching water. Ugh! Water!
Glad youy liked the post. I had fun with it. Next Saturday’s post features Andy again as film critic and caption blocker. (Well, he would have blocked them if I watched the movie on the television instead of my laptop, biut I could see that look in hius eye…)
This brought up a memory: once, when in Milan, we caught a Monet retrospective exhibition. I have a tendency to spend quite a bit of time in front of every painting, especially the impressionists. At the end of the third hour, my husband remarked that if he had to view one more water lily, he’d turn into a frog.
Looking forward to more of Andy the Film Critic.
I saw some of his water lilies first in NYC at the Museum of Modern Art. I was shocked how huge the paintings are. Same with Picasso’s “Guernica”, which was still at the MOMA when I saw it. I also enjoyed the Musee d’Orsay in Paris since it is (I suspect) the best place to see French Impressionist paintings.
While seeing paintings in art books is the way we see most art unless we are world travellers, it still is best to see them “live” at a museum!
I cannot agree more, Doug. I had been collecting art books for years in Russia, but when I was finally allowed to leave, I saw all those treasures “live.” It’s incomparable, of course. Philadelphia Academy or Arts has a great collection of impressionists and post-impressionists. Interestingly, so does the Hermitage in St Petersburg, but those paintings were not exhibited to public during the 75 years of communist regime. Now, of course, they are open for viewing.
No worries, Andy. Mom says maybe your papa could “stream” it (whatever that means) for you on TV. Say, have you taught your papa how to speak French?
Papa can read French and get most of the meaning because of the 1066 “visit” by Normans to England and how their linguistic influence on what was the local language shaped itself into what we speak now. I do have to look up words (lots!), but context oftentimes is adequate to slog through short texts. Unfortunately, though, I do better with foreign films if I can read the captions then keep up with the spoken words. (Short spoken parts I sometimes can follow well enough.) All said, Andy doesn;’t really care!
My opinion on French films is they never have an ending–they just run out of film and you say, Whaaaaa? Subtitles should be blocked!
Curiously enough, the French film I watched the day I did that post never had an ending–they just run out of film and I said, Whaaaaa? It was a train trip from Germany, through Belgium, to Paris. The apparent person of interest was an artist with hairy arm pits, a proclivity to sleep with strange men along the line, and had a habit of having her internal monolgues externally. Likewise, every character in the film – all those men and the apparent person of interest’s mother – wernt on and on about “stuff” while anyone else in the scene sat or stood there, vaguely listening (sort of like those of us in the audience!) but not speaking to the monologue. Frankly, the railways of three countries (in the 1970s) were more interesting to me since I had some experience riding trains in at least two of them. I don’t know. Was I pleased when the film ran out? I don’t know. I was numb with ennui! LOL! The rail car she rode in had source and destinations of Moscow/Paris.
It was so bad, I remembered a conversation I had with German stanger on the platform in Saarbrueken when we changhed from the SNCF cars to the DB cars. The placard indicated the final destination was Kaiserslautern, where I was hoping to end up. It was too soon to enter the car as they were preparing tit to connect with a DB locomotive. It was on a siding that appeared to head toward France, where all of us had just left. The lady came over and asked me “Fährt dieser Zug nach Kaiserslautern?” I was stumbling through an issue of “Der Spiegel” magazine, the only reason she assumed I spoke German. (Americans truly look like Americans abroad! And American GIs even more so.) “Ja, hoffentlich!” (Does this train go to Kaiserslautern? “Yes, hopefully!” Anyway, when we got on the car, full of hope but with significant anxiety, the locomotive pulled the car toward France (!), slowly and with little suggestion of a switch back into Germany. Finalkkly, it felt like a long turn into the east, and we did, finally (when the film ran out) end up in Kaiserslautern. The car placard read Paris/Kaiserslautern. The train we were on from Paris had a destination somewhere in Turkey (the Orient Express), which is why we had to detrain and move over to the ambiguously oriented car to our preferred destination.
Guess European train trip stories with Paris as an origin or destination are just as endless as heck, too! LOL!
In Europe I always make the point to dress like the locals so I can mix into the crowd. I think French films are more about being artistically interesting than having a plot with a beginning or end. (End of Comment)
Exactly! As someone who worked as a motion picture photographer while in the US Army, I watch films as much for the cinematography and technical artistry as plot anyway. If there is a story strong enough to come through those interests, I appreciate that, too. I especially enjoy Louis Malle’s films since they are both beautifully shot but have strong stories. “Elevator to the Gallows” was as entertainiung as any film noir film or Hitchcock thriller from America, and “Au Revoir les Enfants” is as affecting and beautifully filmed a movie as anything I can name.
Thanks for your reply to my reply. I will have to take your word on those films for now. . .
Louis Catorze would be happy to teach French to your boys! 🇫🇷
re me the agony of watching captioned films w=through a cat! They coulkd enjoy the film with me, perhaps catch me up on the story if I fall asleep.
Our Floki likes blocking the tv but he doesn’t stop at the subtitles. He has to stand in front of it while watching it.
LOL! That’s Dougy’s specialty. Usually it’s because he saw a spider or flying insect and is trying to find wherte it landed. Andy prefers to block the bottom part of the screen where the captions typically show.
What a discerning kitty. I don’t care for sub titles but do like voice over shows . Tyebe’s going through the stage of getting up close and personal with the TV and hitting obje ts on TV. !hehe
So far, the kitty boys haven’;t shown much interest in what’s on the screen unless it’s a fly. Thye both enjoy vidfeos for cats,. however, and Andy is particularly interested in the most boring ones where a string randomly wiggles across the screen. Dougy’s interests are more literal, like birds.
Andy will become a multilingual cat! 🙂
Yes, and I’m sure he’d have a cute accent since he is a kitty!
we hate that subtitle stuff too… and we often furget to switch it off, so we have to start agin…and mostly again…
I’m hearing impaired so have the closed caption option turned in at all times. For foreign fgilms, I rely on the subtitles to follow the story since I don’t speak any foreign language well enough to follow the story. I can get by in German, understand some French, Italian, and Spanish, but I don’t kid myself: I’m only picking up a word here and there!